Productive at work

Um, what is happening here?

Today is National Cliche Day. And it’s a good a time as any to recycle this old Tumblr entry:

Every crime story EVER written

Journalists LOVE resorting to the tired phrases. So, my friend Lateef and I (both former cop reporters) decided to write the ultimate crime story using every possible hackneyed wording we could think of.

Count the clichés and vow to never ever repeat them.*

Neighbors search for answers as drive-by shooting claims life of teacher

By Scoop Jones and R. U. Luckie/ The Daily Downsizer

ATLANTA, Georgia — It was Billy’s last dance.

Billy Dance walked out of his modest ranch house to retrieve his newspaper from the front lawn — and never came back.

Dance, a 32-year-old business instructor, was gunned down in a hail of bullets Tuesday in a quiet suburban neighborhood outside Atlanta, police said.

“I am shocked. It was a scene straight out of a movie,” said neighbor Johnny Kutz. “We never thought anything like this could ever happen here.”

The shooting was the second headline-grabbing incident in as many days in the Bubbling Brook community, and it heightened tensions.

On Sunday, a woman in a nearby subdivision was arrested on animal cruelty charges after authorities found 74 uncared-for cats inside her house.

Neighbors have also grappled with several car break-ins in recent days where teenagers stole iPods from unlocked vehicles and fled on foot.

So far, police are being tight-lipped about whether Dance’s shooting is related to the recent crime wave.

“The investigation is ongoing,” said Atlanta police Sgt. Christopher Rude. “We’re following up on a lot of leads, and we already have a person of interest in custody.”

The early morning calm was shattered about 6 a.m. when a maroon older-model sedan drove past Dance’s house and someone opened fire.

“It sounded like ‘pop,’ ‘pop,’ ‘pop,’” said LaKeisha Washington, who was getting her children ready for school at the time. “At first, I thought it was firecrackers.”

Neighbors described Dance as a quiet man who mostly kept to himself.

“I’d see him sometimes when I was working on my yard and he was getting in his car,” said Roger Jordan. “We would wave. He seemed like a pleasant guy.”

Dance’s colleagues at Dewey Institute of Technology said he was an instructor who always had a smile on his face.

“He always thought outside the box when he taught,” said Mary Pepperidge. “It’s a pity he was taken in the prime of his life.”

Police tape cordoned off Dance’s one-story house Tuesday evening. Yellow placards counting the shell casings littered the area. A reporter counted 25 of them.

By the driveway, neighbors had set up a make-shift memorial. A candle-light vigil was slated for later in the night.

Jordan’s wife, Samantha, said the killings had upended her sense of peace and tranquility in the subdivision of middle-class homes with well-manicured lawns.

“This is the kind of place where we don’t even lock the door at night,” she said.

Those who dropped off teddy bears and bouquets in a show of support at the memorial searched for answers. They were at a loss to explain Dance’s passing, as was a homicide detective who came by to re-interview some of the residents.

“I tell you, I’ve been on the force for 13 years and usually in a homicide, there is some link between the victim and the perpetrator,” the detective said, without wanting to be named because he wasn’t authorized to speak to the media. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”

Davie Nelson, councilman for the district that Dance lived in, also milled about, commiserating with the crowd.

“This is why we need more police officers,” Nelson lamented.

Towards late afternoon Dance’s Aunt Matilda came to the crime scene. The woman said she wanted closure.

“I just want closure,” Aunt Matilda said.

_______________________

*The same day we made up this story, this was the headline on abcnews.com:

Alabama Shooter Michael McLendon Was ‘Quiet’

Alabama Shooter Often ‘Kept To Himself,’ Had Quit Job Last Week

Ballsy

A metropolitan love story (click to enlarge)